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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes fruitless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media slang.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive guide to the terms Zoomers is using to discuss love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, romance's gold standard is showing up as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon connected to a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is engaged or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Chair theory – This means seeking out someone who helps you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional excess, it refers to pairs who choose against having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral habits indicating a prospective partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions confirm your choice to date a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, mostly benign quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same things or people that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily domestic, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday repulsions that instantly shut down any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic display.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {