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I have been close companions for more than 20 years, who has overcome many challenges, which I admire. Yet, she's repeatedly blindsided by people. Her spouse left her, which came as a huge shock. Many of her friends disappeared during that time, because they seemed drawn to the spouse. It shocked her deeply. She made more effort toward our bond, probably understood more acutely the essence of true friendship.

The Pattern of Disappearance

In the time since, several in her circle vanished without her being sure why. Her previous job turned on her, despite the fact that she had been an excellent employee, her exit happened unaware of the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Recently, both of us left the workforce leading to more each other more, however, I feel my position between us is to listen. I start topics of conversation only for her to redirect them to her own topics. In terms of politics, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to propose verifying facts and alternate views.

She's been organizing a vacation to a nation I've visited many times and lived in for some time. I attempted to offer insights, but this was unappreciated. She essentially solely sought my agreement with her decisions. I recently returned from four weeks there she hopes to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate to act as a friend who cuts and runs without a word, yet I doubt she can comprehend the consequences of her actions on my confidence. Right now, I find myself in pulling back. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

It's possible to end things abruptly, yet this is not often a smooth outcome we hope for. But confrontation aiming for a solution takes courage and openness from both people.

Professional advice indicates applying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially requires explaining the usual pattern when you talk. This needs to be based on facts like what a recording device would replay. Next is to express how this leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no disagreement on this point. What you feel belong to you, naturally. The third step involves requesting how the two of you going to change the dynamics of your friendship."

Remember she too has her own side, thus requiring you to stay open to hear that. One effective method is telling to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's wildly effective in fostering better communication.

Final Thoughts

This person could ignore your concerns, for those who hold onto a deep-seated story: they maintain a story about themselves they won't release because their very survival depends upon it and it represents they've known. This poses a challenge as there is no clear path here, just dead ends. However, she might start out defensively and then think about what you've said. And even if a resolution isn't found a resolution, you'll have peace that you've been honest with her.